Inner Peace

Sep. 6th, 2009

I'm not dead.

http://bonjouranderson.blogspot.com/
I've been blogging on blogspot since June now.
Check it out.
If anyone is even reading this still...

Posted at 12:47 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Mar. 19th, 2009

I'm done with blogging for a little while.

i may be back. i may not. but if i'm not. i'd like to say ciao everyone.

Posted at 05:35 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Mar. 1st, 2009

how fucking hard is it westfield high school to put what lunch i have on my schedule?!?! and i have three fucking b+'s and two a's. not even one bit close to all a's. what college is going to accept me with these types of grades? no one will. i'll be living in some house in the suburbs of indiana forever. it's just not fair. everyone and everything always works against me. i can never get a break. i can't remember the last time i was happy with out something lurking in the back of my mind that ruined all of it.

Posted at 04:53 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 27th, 2009

new trimester

fresh start. i need to patch up some things though. and i plan on making this trimester a good one.

Posted at 10:17 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 21st, 2009

no way down

mood: anxious

i really don't know how or where to start describing everything that's happened recently. it's not that anything traumatic has happened. it's just the fact that i haven't posted in such a long time. well driver's ed has taken so much of my time lately it's ridiculous. i need a break. and then with school it really doesn't help. finals are next week and i need to ace about every single one to complete my resolution of making all a honor roll for at least one trimester. after about a month of preparing and going to tutoring every saturday the core 40 retake is finally over. and i'm pretty sure that i passed. still along the lines of school... i'm ready to get finals week over with and move on to trimester three and finally finish up the rest of freshman year. but then of course that means new classes and a new lunch. which is always a little nerve wracking not knowing if anyone will be in there that i know. but these first two trimesters have been okay so i don't think next trimester's lunch should be too frightening. photography seems to have put itself on hold lately. whether it's because i'm too busy, don't have anything to photograph, or maybe i'm starting to losing my touch. and i really hope it's not the last one. i was thinking of doing this thing like i saw on flickr where someone took one picture each day for forty days straight. i thought something like that would be cool. get me back into my art. but it will have to wait until the end of driver's considering some days i don't get home till seven.

back to present time... this morning has been pretty stressful. probably karma for everything i've done wrong this week. but like i said i'm just ready to get the rest of this trimester over with. and for spring break. spring break sounds very nice right now. oh! and i will be attending the killers concert at the murat in may so i'm totally stoked about that. see what i'm saying? third trimester is going to be amazing.

Posted at 02:01 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 8th, 2009

life’s about film stars and less about mothers...

it’s all about fast cars and passing each other.

the weather: hopefully will warm up for me tomorrow
the plans: are to go to sleep in a little while
the job: is non-existent
the religion: is not of major concern at the moment
the movies: have not been seen in a while
the chores: will hopefully be forgotten
the homework: is put on hold
the only thing stopping me from reaching bliss: i want tech and gym to be over which means a new trimester which i might not have lunch with friends next trimester which makes me wish for summer but summer means getting a job if i want a car which means work which i don't enjoy...

Posted at 09:21 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 2nd, 2009

my heart is yearning...

mood: blank

music: paris is burning - ladyhawke

but paris is burning.

life is a little confusing at the moment. i don't know if i'm liable to write exactly what happened but it's got me thinking. hopefully school will keep my mind off of things. my confidence is starting to dwindle once again. i don't know what caused it but it's fleeting fast. on the bright side i just realized that i only one more month of freshman year gym. and thank fucking god. i'm so done with it. lately i've been meeting more people from myspace trains. they're nice. polite. accepting. and my conversations with them just verifies that i'm not meant to live in indiana. i talked to anna last night and she helped me confirm that next to photography i would like to work with preserving the environment and conservation. maybe something along the lines of a non for profit. i need money for new clothes. it has to do with the confidence thing. nothing in my closet i feel is up to par. so hopefully i'll find a way to get a lot fast. and i want my spin magazine to get here. they have an interview with brandon flowers and i'm getting impatient. more posts soon. ciao.
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screen name - anderson_m

Posted at 03:07 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Feb. 1st, 2009

one journey for you but it's worth it...

mood: awake

music: magic - ladyhawke

one life here with me and it's magic.

i made a twitter a few days ago. i really like it too. i don't why. i suppose i'm just easily amused. so coco woke me up this morning by lying outside my door and whining and scraping the wood. but it was cute cause when i opened the door she was all happy and excited. either way i'm up way to early. and once i'm awake i can't get back to sleep. well that's it. it was a small update but one none the less. see you all later. ciao.

Posted at 08:59 am | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jan. 28th, 2009

dry my eyes so you won't know...

mood: frustrated

music: tonight - lykke li

dry my eyes so i won't show.

this sucks. a snow day is usually a good thing. but today it's not considering i woke up at five. finished getting ready. did all of my homework last night. and am basically ready to walk out the door to go to school only to find that... i don't have school today! well i'd of liked to have known before i woke up. also still waiting for kat von d's book. i want to read it so badly.

Posted at 06:21 am | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jan. 24th, 2009

control yourself...

mood: artistic

music: it's my life - no doubt

take only what you need from it.

wow it's been a while since i last posted. i think i might get a paid account for this. but then again i don't know. my parents might want to see what they would be paying for and this isn't really something i want them to see. but i would love to have different icons for my entries instead of just being limited to two. anyways... went to the bmv today to get my driver's permit even though i turn sixteen in march. we also went to barnes and noble this morning so i got a photography magazine and ordered kat von d's new autobiography. it should be interesting. she seems like a very philosophical person. so last week i washed my phone. and this is the second time i've done something like that. but luckily we have insurance so i got another one. but i'm pretty sure it's been refurbished because the keyboard doesn't light up completely and the vibrate is loud enough for a whole room to hear. but it's a phone so i'm not complaining. other than that i don't believe anything else is really going on. i'm just ready for summer. and we might be going to key west for spring break so that should be exciting. well that's all for now. i'll try to post sooner. ciao.

Posted at 12:44 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jan. 16th, 2009

all my days they end too slow...

and i wonder where i've left to go.

i told the truth. i spoke from the heart. and it may have been harsh. but now that they're gone i can move on. close that chapter of my life. and try to achieve felicity.

Posted at 02:11 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jan. 10th, 2009

you get mistaken for strangers by your own friends...

mood: bored

music: mistaken for strangers - the national

when you pass them at night under the silvery, silvery citibank lights.

the national is one of those bands that make everything right no matter how bad it is. the lead singer's voice is deep but that makes the song so much more peaceful. i don't know why i find so much comfort in it but i do.

i wish i could rant for hours about everything new in my life, considering i haven't posted in days. but i can't. life is pretty boring. school's been a pain this week. to much homework. and i'm also still craving a relationship. but next weekend should be better. my dad and i are driving down to bloomington to shop at urban outfitter's. and most likely go to other places throughout the day. so at least it'll be something to do. guess that's it... updates later i suppose. ciao.

Posted at 10:20 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jan. 1st, 2009

doesn't it seem like...

mood: envious

music: white shade - lukestar

new year's day is more of a celebration then new year's eve? it's like a mini rebirth. a good point in life to make amends and start over. try to follow your resolutions. and develop and learn from the year before. and as i've said i have a good feeling about this year. what will come of it and how everything will play out. well my posts may not be as exciting now that the holiday season is over. but i'll still keep you updated. ciao

Posted at 01:44 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 31st, 2008

as the clock strikes twelve...

mood: determined

music: flake - jack johnson

well 2008 is almost over. i guess i should be saying what a year. because even though i've come to loath this year and the bad things that have happened.. just as many have been great and shaped who i am.

so starting at the beginning of the year i finished up my last year of middle school. met some great people and realized who my true friends were. i lost my dog samantha after having her for eleven years. but she'll always be in my heart. she taught me that everything happens for a reason and no matter how bad life gets it goes on. started tutoring and continued that throughout the summer. got our new dog coco chanel whom i love dearly. met rachael who showed me that i don't need to rely on others for my happiness. feel in love. and fell out of love realizing it was infatuation (possibly on both ends). spent long nights talking to people i can never talk to in person. went to chicago and had the time of my life. went to michigan and regretted the whole trip. better luck next year. took photography classes at the ima. had anxiety about starting high school. started high school. no more anxiety. met some new people. realized that people had moved on. crushed on someone. and then crushed again. met sidney and went to an awesome halloween party. actually got interested in the elections. finished up the year with a great christmas. and throughout all of these events listened to indie music. watched reality tv. used facebook. and edited my myspace profile while drinking fuze and coffee.

so i guess reading this i realize maybe it wasn't so bad. i mean of course that's not everything. but i still have a feeling everything will be better next year. and i'm determined to keep my resolutions.

Posted at 10:37 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 25th, 2008

i dreamed of a white christmas...

mood: confused

music: the today show

but i see that wasn't enough considering there's no snow :/

so this morning has been good so far other than the fact that my dad got a little stressed trying to get my brothers new computer to hook up with the internet. but oh well. it happens every year someone gets something that has to do with technology and he ends up fixing it. anyways... i got my camera :) so i'm very happy about that. and it's so cool looking. i almost want to say it's beautiful. lol. and i also got an ed hardy shirt that i'm wearing as i type this. and my zen page a day calender (all will be recycled to keep with my resolution) um... a starbucks gift card :) my class ring (which is a little disappointing considering the stone is loose but i'll get it fixed at moyers) and that's it from my family. but from my extended family i got homemade candy canes which were really good and gone by the time i got home last night. a photography book on lighting. my day and age cd that i have been waiting so anxiously for. and cash. which is always greatly appreciated. so all and all today has been good. but it's just i have this feeling and i can't pinpoint what it is. like one thing keeping me from being overjoyed on this holiday. but i'll try and suppress it to keep with the holiday spirit. i think i'll get back to getting ready now. going to see family. so i hope everyone that reads my blog (which is like what.. three? lol) has a very merry christmas :)

Posted at 06:41 am | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 23rd, 2008

new year's resolutions early

so i wanted to start writing some down so i don't forget. if i ever succeed in completing one of these i'll have an update about it for you. also this isn't final. i may end up adding more. but it will be final by the first of the year of course.

become more environmentally friendly

make all "a" honor roll for at least one trimester

give back

go to new york city

get my driver's license

paint my room

Posted at 02:15 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 19th, 2008

the story behind the icons

mood: relieved

the title of my journal is inner peace. because it's the thing i struggle for constantly in daily life. these two images portray inner peace when i look at them. they're simple. they're for what they are but there can be a story or meaning behind them. you can say they're "gay" or "girly" but i don't care. this is my journal. i'll do with it what i please. if you don't like it you're more than welcome to navigate away from this page.

Posted at 04:47 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 16th, 2008

this isn't fair

elaine didn't make tech for the musical and now i'm going to be on production crew with a bunch of annoying naive freshman and no one to keep me occupied. ugh. shoot me?

Posted at 09:46 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 11th, 2008

and i was your silver lining...

music: rilo kiley - silver lining

as the story goes.

i'm really not in the mood to go to school tomorrow. but as usual i'm just tired so my emotions are getting the best of me. i know because two nights ago i got more sleep than usual and i felt like the whole day ran perfectly.

once again i'm crushing on someone. which is like the fourth person this year? i mean i'm not a man whore. lmao. it's just usually i base too much on looks and i barley even know them. and this is one of those ones that i know isn't going to go anywhere. but hey a guy can hope. lol.

out of no where lately i've been feeling nostalgic. like i wish that i was who i am now but make it last year. i've met a lot of cool people so far this year but a part of me wants all of my old friends back. honestly i think this year i have 4 - 5 really good friends =/. and that everyone has moved on except me. and i hate it. i need to be more social. i need to feel as confident as i did last year and i have no idea what's holding me back. i really just need a hug. lmao. and not a "hey how's it going" hug but an "anderson i love you and i'm here for you. everything is going to be okay" hug. well i think that's good for now. if you're online talk to me. i'm fairly bored.

Posted at 07:26 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Dec. 8th, 2008

i have a feeling...

that these next two weeks are going to be more like two months.

Posted at 07:11 pm | Link | Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

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